Living with the fear of losing

Since I’ve started trading I always managed to get myself in situations were I was afraid of loosing. It started with a bad trade that went against me, then adding another one and another one and just let them pile up till 50-60-70% of my account was in red.

In general, I manage to get in the same situation even if I have a 1k account or even 30 USD. I just live with the fear I am gonna lose all the hard work till then (that one dollar I managed to earn last week….)

Walking on memorys lane

I remember that in 2016, I think January, I managed to have a 200 USD account. It was the biggest sum I had invested, and not lose, since the beginings. I went against the trend in GBPUSD and kept entering in multiple transactions, just to stay in the game, catch the up-trend and close all my transactions on plus (rollover).

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Kill my account zone

You see how it went? I was watching the graphs, each day (wanted to say minute…but day sounds more professional)…so I was watching them each day hoping the up-trend will come and in the meantime my balance was going -20-40….-55….-80….-70 (yey, here it starts, another transaction)…-110… You got the point. And everything went to the hole, beacuse I was to afraid to lose and let the first trade die.

I woke up during a night, checked my phone as it was already a habbit (vice) and wasn’t able to go to sleep. That night I slept like 3h. The next night, same story. So I the morning, during coffe I gathered up the courage to acceped I screwd up, confess to my wife and closed all the transactions…80% of my account. It was the bigest loss I took (or it was at that time).

During each tutorial, course, demonstration and everything you can think about, you will find the phrase that you need the proper mindset and avoid emotions (that’s why FOREX robots are more profitable).

Well….I know it since I’ve started trade-ing I’ve broke this rule multiple times.

Back to present

I took you back in time, just so I can tell you about my latest ‘sucess’. As mentioned before, in the present, my trading is composed by me and an investor (a copy-trader) on my account. I am doing around 3-4% gains per month and he is topping my account with another 2-3%. The strategy works wonderfull and I am happy with it.

But here comes the catch. At this curent moment I have multiple buy transactions on a descending trend on EURUSD, because of the other trader. It is very clear we have a descending trend that has to correct soon. The curent situation is funneled by the new coronavirus and the politics of BCE to brace for the economic impact of the virus. Currently my account is going in red zone (-33%) and I kept thinking about that GBPUSD trend from 2016. Is true when they say history reapeats itself.

At lest I more mature about this and I am not waking up during the night to check my phone (not yet), but I can’t say that I am to happy about it. I’ve started to feel unease with the toughs of losing that much, especially that in the last year every lose was under 2% of the account.

Well….guess will see what happens.

Thank you for reading this!

Disclaimer: I am not a financial consultant, all the information you find here are my decisions, I taken in that moment, on my own analysis. I am open to any type of discussion about money. If you want to replicate my portfolio take into consideration that it is your money.

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